i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize