That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
wow bdsm is so cute
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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