i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
