I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
