yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
