ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
