I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
