I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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