I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
