my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
