Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize