i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
