Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
