Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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