Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
