are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
