Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
