Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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