I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my shit smells like andre
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm getting married
To pizza
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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