my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize