Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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