He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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