Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize