Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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