Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
