It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
why do cheetos always look like penises
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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