just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
