Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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