never play flip cup with pint glasses
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
