so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
