Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
