ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
