What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize