whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
