Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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