It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
