he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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