wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
