It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
