did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
