Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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