Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
