I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
