love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize