you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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