I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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