hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
