it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
