Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
