You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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