Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
