I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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