Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
