And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
