For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
