i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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