Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize