i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
