Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize