Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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