You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
