Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
