Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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