when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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