i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize