I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
