I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
