how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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