Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he was CRYING into my vagina
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
