woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
