I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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